I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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