I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
