I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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