would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
