Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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