we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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