I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize