if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
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somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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