Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i have two assholes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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