What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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