I'm so fucking centered right now
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
