HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
