.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
