Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
