We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
