Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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