Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
