I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i came on her dog
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
