No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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