Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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