i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
