my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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