and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
