woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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