Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize