I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Less talking, more tequila
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
