you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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