Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize