Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
