My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You ruined the universe
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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