i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
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with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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