my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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