I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
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Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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