Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
