I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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