Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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