im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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