It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
