I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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