Do vagina's smell?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize