I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
