my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
