absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
