this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I know her cup size but not her name....
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