Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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