Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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