Someone shit on the floor
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
