C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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