woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this just has baby written all over it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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