I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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