I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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