We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she told me i tasted like america
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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