im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
