He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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