I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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