Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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