I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
