it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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